find comfort in tough times

Dear readers,

I come again here for some writings. I am honestly in the middle of reading some researches supporting my thesis. It would not be long, but I want to share how I find my comfort in the middle of this hustle and bustles.

The type of comforts which suit me

Ever since I was little, I so enjoyed watching Avatar the Legend of Aang (ATLA). Anyone in my age must remember how one of Indonesian national TV ever aired this series around 2008 – 2012. I remember that almost every day I could enjoy the series. So now, whenever I watched ATLA, it always reminds me of the life I was living around that time. I was a freshman, and my two younger brothers were both in SHS and in Elementary School. Streaming TV series was still unpopular so we needed to purchase (pirated) DVDs and watched the episodes which hasn’t been aired yet.

Another comfort entertainment I take delight beside ATLA is reading Hikaru no Go. I was at my Junior High School going for Senior High School. At those times, I diligently waited for the series and sometimes purchased the comic at store near my tutoring class. Sometimes, my friends caught me reading during my waiting for class.

Repeating the pleasant is very much comforting. Moreover, each repeat most of the times lift me with some new conscious of the past memories. Writing this piece reminds me of certain memories I am not so sure whether they are right or wrong for I am not quite remember some pretty specific details about them. I asked my mom just now about how I was getting to my tutoring class, about the people I was befriended with, and etc. At the end of the day, my Mom told me that I was either using Angkot to the nearest stop (which is a traditional market) or my dad driving and picking me up weekly. I am also reminded that I have actually already befriended with this friend who now has become an Author of some books.

Beside lifting some conscious, repeating the pleasant always teaches me something new. In ATLA, there is this specific episode when Prince Zuko faced his moment of truth, the moment of him choosing the right or the wrong paths. Later as a being I am fully aware that I will constantly face those many moments which drains both my energy and my mind. Interestingly, I have learned those particular moments from ATLA. Every time I summon up how Zuko learned that his choices were wrong, I grasp the point showing me there was also this room for anyone to improve. Through Hikaru no Go, I gained an understanding about loss and friendship. It is when Sai, one of the main characters from the series, suddenly disappeared, making Hikaru discovered how meaningful Sai’s presence for him.

Bubur ayam Cirebon, pardon for the awful resolution

It is not everyday, but sometimes I do also find comfort in cooking. I cooked my favorite meals usually at least two portions then enjoyed them for myself. Never I told anyone but honestly I enjoy cooking. Only because my tastes strangely different from others, It is always hard to reveal this. How if someone then asked me to cook but find my foods aren’t delicious to their taste. Despite feeling anxious, I’d better stay low and tell I could not cook well.

Shopping never becomes my comfort. In the pasts, I do remember that I think by shopping I could find comfort. I bought many books even tho I wasnt sure when exactly I would read them. Purchasing too much clothes and bags also will not last long. I get easily bored with the stuff I have purchased. Since then I realized that I prefer to spend my money on experiences like favorite foods and travelling.

So now, how do you usually find your comfort? I wish you could still enjoy the days even tho sometimes they are not even gentle. Anyway in life, why do we need to feel uncomfortable?

This time, I am raising an issue about emotional courage. I will mostly have an urge to find comfort whenever I am facing this one of the many uncomfortable moments. I, like most people, fear the feeling of failure, shame, embarrassment, frustrated, and wistful. Not all people are ready and able to feel all those emotion at once. The more we face those kinds of emotions, the more we will be ready of anything, or rather, are we being created to always not ready? While the act of learning is intentionally intellectual, methodological and behavioral, the experience of learning primarily should also be emotional, and they are all uncomfortable. Like what Peter Bregman ever said, learning is indeed takes time and comfort takes experiences.

In my experience, sometimes people seek for confidence by showing off their achievements. It makes people naturally think that arrogance needed to nurture the confidence. However to me, confidence can only be achieved by someone who can stay grounded. They who nurture their confidence through arrogance will never stand for any negative feedback and criticism. Confident person is still allowed to admit that she/he is “not know” about something. She/he should be an open, curious, and steady being,

Why shopping is never for me and why I stay on being a minimalist

My life is getting minimalist day by day without me really realizing it. I purchased mostly black and white wardrobes, better shoes and bag so they will long last. Every time i want to purchase something, what comes first in my mind is if i will really need them, or not. I do not have new wardrobes for Eid in these past 3 years partly for I don’t really have time to buy new ones or too lazy to find which styles i really really want! My friends never give me goods as presents for I asked them to only give me consumable gifts such flowers, foods, my favorite make ups, unless the goods will be used by me in daily basis.

Writing this I should say maybe currently I am self-proclaiming that I am a minimalist. However my choice to be a minimalist is not based on something noble. I am basically not good at shopping and I am also very much lazy in the same time. So instead of spending my money on somethings not even useful, better only purchase something which will help me. Both tidying and cleaning up are not my best ability. Also, sometimes I do wondering that having minimal stuff would make tidying and cleaning up faster and simpler.

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash