on spirituality

Life can be tough most of the times, and we all go through challenges that test our inner strength. As a Muslim, it is just easy to find comfort and guidance in the mystical tradition of Sufism. Talking about religiosity, I honestly never define myself as religious. I prefer to call myself as for more into spirituality. And just like other various spiritual paths offered out there, I suit myself with Islamic spirituality.

For most people, these different spiritual approaches make for many spiritual practices cannot be compared for people who belong to the same faith have different spiritual practices, even in Islamic practices. As someone who is born as a Muslim, I am more suited to the spiritual approach of Islam. The successive events that have brought me to where I am today have only sharpened my principle that I take spirituality very seriously which naturally leads me to religious practices that are somewhat stricter for myself.

The beginning of my encounter with Sufism was when I read a book titled Ihya Ulumuddin. I have written a glimpse about the book in this post. However far before I know about Ihya, It was when I was still a freshman in 2008, I love reading books by Hamka, Prof Buya and M Iqbal. Those authors are enough to help me understand a little bit of what Sufism is like. In essence, my introduction to Sufism is only limited to the thought and practice of continuously cleansing the heart from all its ailments. Since then, I have read several Sufi books and several schools of modern philosophy as a counterweight so that I am not too biased towards Sufism.

It was because of COVID Pandemic, I started to dig more into this Islamic mysticism called Sufism. During the time, I met this person. It didn’t take long until I could see that this person had not only the understanding, but also practicing spirituality, in this case, continuously cleansing his/her heart through Taubat as many as possible. In Islam, it could be through dzikr by reciting istighfar or practicing solat taubat consistently every day meaning they can be once a day yet most of the time are even more. The amount of time that was given to me during the pandemic made me get used to some heart cleansing practices that I understood as best. One of the practices that is most well-known by secular world is through meditation, or in Islamic language is called tafakkur or itikaf. The practice become more serious and more consistent especially after I had my heart break of a very very serious relationship. I could not really tell what was actually happened but trust me It was one of the hardest challenges I have been through. Even though I tried to find peace through working, different hobbies, journaling, and many things, I felt like something was still missing. That’s when I realized that true happiness and inner peace can only come from within, through self-acceptance and surrender to the divine.

During my healing process, I decided to take a break from my usual routine and just sit still. I tried to accept whatever feelings were in my heart, without judging myself or resisting. It wasn’t easy, but I found that through this practice, I was able to develop more compassion for myself. In Sufism, compassion is considered one of the most important virtues of the spiritual path. By showing compassion to ourselves and others, we can cultivate a deeper sense of inner peace and acceptance that helps us navigate through life’s challenges. During this difficult time, I also turned to the teachings of Sufi masters beside Imam Al Ghazali, like Ibn Athaillah As-Sakandari through his book, Al Hikam, Jalaludin Rumi, and Ibn Arabi for inspiration. Their poetry and insights on the nature of the divine helped me to connect with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in life.

My negative experience regarding this spiritual journey is that, more and more, my desire is only to let go of ties with the life of the world. Although there is still this desire for things that might be said to be materialistic in nature, they are more often than not makes me reluctant to pursue any of those worldly pleasures. Things like this make me reconsider and retrace the meaning of my existence. Would God be pleased if I wasted what He had bestowed on me and kept it for only myself? then I carry out my role as me, who has various kinds of hobbies, who might be able to share my happiness with the people around me, who might be able to share my knowledge with those in needs. This experience made me want to give what is best for the people around me only because of His will. I have no will for my will is always His.

Through my own experience with Sufism, I have learned that the path towards inner peace and happiness is not always easy, but it is always worth pursuing. By cultivating compassion towards us and others, we can develop a deeper sense of connection with the divine and find greater fulfillment in life. That is why to those who are going through a tough time, know that you’re not alone. By being patient and kind to ourselves, we can all find our way towards greater happiness. Anyway, I am still in my healing process. In the future, I might still experience hardships and sorrow, but as long as I’m with Him, then I’ll be just fine. It is the way it is.