on being a woman

9 minutes

on being a daughter

In my believe, being a daughter is considered a great blessing and a source of immense joy and reward for parents. This belief is based on the teachings of the Quran and the Hadith, which encourage parents to cherish and respect their daughters.

لِّلَّهِ مُلۡكُ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِۚ يَخۡلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُۚ يَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ إِنَٰثٗا وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ ٱلذُّكُورَ

In the Quran, Allah says: “To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males.” (Surah Ash-Shura, 42:49)

This verse highlights that the gender of a child is solely determined by Allah’s will, and He chooses to bless some parents with daughters. The Quran also states that daughters are a source of love and compassion for their parents.

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ١٤

وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۭ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًۭا ۖ وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ ١٥

Allah says: “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.” (Surah Luqman, 31:14-15)

The Hadith also emphasizes the importance of daughters in Islam. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and he keeps good company with them and fears Allah regarding them, then Paradise is his.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1919) This Hadith emphasizes the importance of treating daughters with kindness and respect and maintaining a good relationship with them. It also highlights that raising daughters with a sense of piety and fear of Allah is a means to attain Paradise.

Overall, being a daughter is considered a blessing in Islam because of the love, compassion, and reward that come with raising and cherishing them. It is the responsibility of parents to treat their daughters with respect, kindness, and love, and to raise them with a sense of piety and faith.

How I carry my role as a muslim woman

Everyone has a way to bring himself/herself respecting his/her parents. I may look good and decent, but I feel like I haven’t been a good daughter. The best I can do as a daughter, I’m worried if there are still many that make me hurt them. The older I get, the more I realize how insolent I am as a daughter. That being said, all good deeds solely done is because I am what my parents have taught me. Instead, I’m sometimes also worried that all the bad things I’ve done would be linked to how my parents raised me. For no matter what, I am trying to bring myself as best as I can whenever I am interacting with people around me while also staying true to myself (because of the Lord) even though sometimes it may hurt the other.

Living in big city like Jakarta and work in a company which is required me to interact with people from various cultural and national backgrounds, my sole believe might be occasionally perceived old-fashioned. This is so different when I worked at the previous company which was dominated by Javanese and Muslims. Even though sometimes I still feel different, what I like about where I work now no one has a problem with some of my religious practices. Unlike the curious questions that implicated the eyes of those who see me exaggerating during my worship, I feel my colleagues now respect me more. It is maybe due to the unknown of standardized worship of the rest muslim in Indonesia, or for they just don’t really care about my background or my practice/habits in worshipping. For we are focusing more on what becomes our responsibility at the company, making each other comfortable to what have already become their core belief had become our unwritten rules. Strangely enough, I feel safer around people with different cultural backgrounds than living with people from the same culture as me.

I don’t like talking bad about people. Well, I still however I made my own rule that whenever I doubt what I’m saying will have a bad implication on their view of certain person, I’d rather talk to those who are in perfectly different circles. Speaking ill or even gossiping is a very unhealthy act. Maybe this is because I know how it feels to be gossiped about, anyway that isn’t what we can control so better focus on something more meaningful to us. It honestly also shows us on how we truly are. After all we are all sinners with different sins.

That being said, maybe I am mostly protected. More often than not I find myself in a fortunate position which supports me to be able to practice my faith more easily. I grew up in a very loving family. Even though we are not like those rich family, our basic needs are always fulfilled. We have no enemies, and our extended family is not a complicated one. There are so many countless blessings bestowed on our family that even one act that brings me closer to actions that are not liked by the Lord worries me a lot. Every time I pray for myself and my loved ones to be spared from various circumstances that keep us away from God. Every day I thank to God, then to my ancestors who diligently prayed for their descendants to be noble before God, to people I don’t know but pray for me, to people I know who secretly pray for me and to those who I have had bad experience with.

The story of Sayyidati Maryam and other women in Islam

According to Islamic tradition, Sayyidati―Siti Maryam was born to Imran and his wife Hannah, who had been barren but prayed to Allah for a child. Maryam was born without the taint of original sin, and she was a pious and devout woman who dedicated herself to the worship of Allah.

One day, the angel Jibril (Gabriel) appeared to Siti Maryam in the form of a man and informed her that she had been chosen by Allah to bear a child. Maryam was astonished, as she was a virgin and knew that such a thing was impossible. However, Jibril explained to her that Allah had the power to create anything, and that Maryam would conceive through a miraculous conception.

Maryam became pregnant, and when she began to show, her family and community were scandalized. They accused her of immorality, but Maryam remained silent, steadfast in her faith and trust in Allah. She withdrew from her community and gave birth to her son, Isa radiallahu, alone in a remote place. Sayyidati Maryam is revered for her piety and devotion to Allah, but her story also serves as a reminder of the importance of motherhood. Despite the challenges and difficulties she faced, Maryam remained steadfast in her commitment to raising her son Isa with love, compassion, and faith in Allah. Her example teaches us the importance of nurturing our children and instilling in them a deep love and reverence for Allah. Maryam is revered in Islam as a symbol of purity, devotion, and faith, and she serves as an example for all Muslims to follow. When I was much younger, I always thought Siti Mayam’s story was just kind prophetic stories. which were so strange to be believed. However, the more I learn about her story, I was so astonished. I think this is one of the stories where women are the main characters. I often compare how she educates children who become prophets, how Siti Aminah educates the Prophet Muhammad (pubh).

If those stories are kind hard to be related, I like to read more on Sayyidati Khadijah. There was no magic story about her, except that she was one of the richest merchants in Mecca. She is a woman who is resolute and noble and highly respected by society. It is with her instrumental supports allowing the Prophet to meditate in Goa Hira. She is also the person who firstly believe in him as a messenger of God. She encouraged her relative, Waraqah ibn Nawfal, who is said to have likened Muhammad’s revelations to those of Moses, further providing Muhammad confidence in his revelations. Khadijah, as the first wife of the Prophet Muhammad, played a crucial role in supporting him during the early years of his mission. Her unwavering faith and loyalty to the Prophet, even in the face of persecution, serves as an example of the importance of supporting one’s spouse and working together towards a shared goal. Her story also highlights the importance of open communication, mutual respect, and a strong partnership in a marriage.

Overall, the stories of these women serve as reminders of the importance of faith, devotion, and commitment to one’s family and loved ones. They show us that even in the face of hardship and difficulty, it is possible to remain steadfast in one’s faith and to lead a life of love, compassion, and devotion to Allah. It is by seeing the role of these women as role models made me even more convinced to choose to walk this path. They can inspire us to be better Muslims, and to strive towards a closer relationship with Allah.

Photo by Rax Arn on Unsplash



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